Pastors and church planters need good coaching in order to serve the Lord at their best. And, they need a coach who loves them and comes alongside them as a trusted friend and partner in ministry. What does this look like? Keep reading to find out how.
When you coach someone, get below the surface and aim at the heart. Listen for their story. Ask them to tell you their feelings and desires for themselves and their churches. Ask open-ended questions that dig deep into their heart and soul, questions such as "What are you losing sleep about when your think about your ministry at the present time?" Another might be, "What gives you the greatest joy in your ministry right now?" If the answer to the first question is negative, pair it with the second question.
Develop your relationship with the person you are coaching by asking them to tell you their story. Don't interrupt when you ask, "What about your past most influences your present ministry?" Try, "Who has most shaped you or mentored you in life and ministry?" Another question you might inquire about is, "What traits in your life do you most want to see in your children and grandchildren, and how have you shared them?"
Another good question can be," What do you wish others in your ministry knew what you do and how you do it?"
In your coaching, search for motives. Ask, "What motivates you to get up every morning and do the work that God has given you?" Don't ask "Why?" This can come across as judgmental. Try to get to actual motives, not aspirational or hypothetical ones.
Ask your pastor friend that you are coaching to tell you how he has shown his love for Jesus in his ministry this past week. Follow up with this, "Tell me how you have shown your love for others this past week." If something good is shared, celebrate and offer a prayer of thanksgiving. If nothing good is forthcoming, stop and pray for God to help and provide guidance.
However you do it in coaching, be an encourager. Everyone needs encouragement in the work of the Lord and in life.
Follow the biblical command to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, (and) weep with those who weep." (Rom. 12:15) Nothing in coaching beats the commands of our Lord.
What else can you add to help other coaches get to heart and soul issues?
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